FIC: All Roads Lead to Sweet Surprises

[bookofgramarye]

Fandom: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!
Rating: G
Summary: Katarina, naturally desperate to figure out exactly which potential suitor has caught Maria's eye (and thereby come up with the most appropriate escape route for herself), has devised an absolutely ingenious and completely foolproof plan for determining the most likely love interest. Admittedly, it wasn't really a part of the Fortune Lover game mechanics, but what better way could there be to reveal Maria's secret longings than through the traditional "support-boosting gift" method? All she has to do is present Maria with four potential gift options tailored to the likes of the four young men who might receive them, and then step back and wait to see the results!
...or at least, that's the plan.
Notes: A little side note, somewhere in the anime's first season. Written for serenissima for Yuletide 2022. Additional notes are at the end. (Also on AO3.)


All Roads Lead to Sweet Surprises

The whole problem, in Katarina's opinion, was not that her memories of the Fortune Lover game were inadequate, but that the game itself had a few flaws that did not lend themselves to improving her situation.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It should be mentioned, of course, that this 'opinion' came about as a result of a meeting of the Council of Katarinas. In fact, it was the main topic of a certain Bad End Avoidance Strategy Meeting, in which all five Katarinas were active participants.

'The problem before us today,' Chairwoman Katarina said, once the meeting had been called to order, 'is that we are no closer to determining which of the potential romantic interests is currently most attractive to Maria Campbell.' She cleared her throat authoritatively, making her mustache twitch. 'Our knowledge of the game's story, and the potential Bad Ends, has served us well so far, but perhaps we need to draw upon other resources to determine our next course of action?'

'I concur,' Serious Katarina declared, adjusting her glasses on the bridge of her nose, 'After all, to the best of our collective recollection, Fortune Lover was not the only romance game we played in our previous life. Perhaps we may find some assistance in outside examples?'

'Some of them were really fun!' Happy Katarina bounced a little in her seat. 'I think there were maybe three or four of them? And then there were several others that we wanted to play but never got a chance to do so, because...well, you know.'

All five Katarinas sighed. It wasn't often that they truly had cause to regret the sequence of events that had led to the end of their past life, but there was no denying that they had missed out on a lot of enjoyable things!

'It's really hard to remember the details, though,' Timid Katarina piped up, darting nervous glances around at the others. 'Don't you think so? It's a little like trying to think about a dream more than a few hours after waking up.'

'I mean, if you squint with your mind's eye -- ' Aggressive Katarina began.

Serious Katarina interrupted her. 'It isn't possible to squint with a mind's eye.'

'It's an eye, right?' Aggressive Katarina said, scowling a little in the way that made her look truly villainous. 'So of course you can squint with it.' Serious Katarina frowned, but said nothing, and so Aggressive Katarina continued. 'Anyway, if we just sort of, I dunno, try not to think about it too hard, then we can sort of remember the stories, can't we?'

There was a pause while the Council of Katarinas sat and thought. To an outsider, it would have looked as if they were all daydreaming, instead of actually thinking. Then again, it wasn't exactly easy to sit back and try to recall the plot of a fictional story that you'd experienced very briefly in a previous life.

'Oh, that music school one!' Happy Katarina said suddenly, as a particular memory resurfaced. 'Where you help all those guys with their performances, and figure out which one you want to date that way.'

'I don't think our past self liked that one very much.' Aggressive Katarina drummed her fingertips on the table. 'I'm sort of remembering one where all the romanceable guys were vampires -- or wait, were they demons?'

'I think there were both vampires and demons in that one.' Timid Katarina looked uneasy. 'And, um, wasn't there one where everyone was...er, a bird of some kind?'

'A bird?' Happy Katarina blinked. 'You mean, like, a parrot or pigeon or something?'

'That's the silliest idea for a game I've ever heard,' Aggressive Katarina said with a snort. 'Why would you want to date a pigeon?'

'Be that as it may,' Serious Katarina interjected forcefully, sensing that the conversation was straying wildly from the topic at hand, 'as I seem to recall, many of those games had a useful story element, where you could give the character you wanted to romance a particular gift, in order to increase their interest in you as the player character and subsequently improve your romantic prospects with them.'

'But you couldn't do that in Fortune Lover,' Happy Katarina said, confused. 'Maria-in-the-game did make nice things for people, but there wasn't anything like a special gift-giving scenario.'

Aggressive Katarina suddenly leapt to her feet, making Timid Kataina let out a squeak of fright. 'Then let's create one!' She looked around at her fellow Katarinas. 'We know what all of the boys like best, don't we? They've been our friends much longer than Maria's known them; she wouldn't have any idea of what kind of gift to give. Why don't we help Maria choose one of them that way?'

'It would give us an indication of which doom flag to avoid,' Serious Katarina said. 'After all, it wouldn't make sense to focus on breaking our relationship with Prince Geordo to allow him to marry Maria if we really should be helping to support her chances with Keith or Alan or Nichol instead.'

Chairwoman Katarina rapped her gavel on the table. 'So are we all agreed on this idea?' she said. 'That we should present Maria Campbell with the appropriate gift-giving options to allow her to reveal her particular romantic interests, in order that we may support her final choice and avoid our own Bad End?'

All the Katarinas responded in chorus. 'Aye!'

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Even with a unanimous Katarina vote, the plan wasn't quite as simple an undertaking as it seemed. For Katarina, it took more than a week of careful coordinating, with lots of scribbling in her secret notebook, before she figured out a suitable approach. So she waited until one quiet afternoon, when Maria was in the student council room by herself, working on the list of council members' duties for the next month, to spring the idea on her.

'Maria!' she said, bustling into the room with her most cheerful smile fixed firmly on her face, 'You're just the person I wanted to see!'

Maria looked up from her paperwork. 'Yes, Lady Katarina?' she said, smiling in return.

Katarina felt a slight pang in her chest at the sight of that gentle, honest smile. It's not fair, a tiny voice said in the back of her mind. It wasn't the voice of one of the Council of Katarinas; rather, it went much deeper than that, to that part of her heart where she kept all of the silent regrets that never made it into any secret notebook. Why do I have to manipulate her like this? Why can't we all just be friends, with no Bad Ends for anyone? Still, she couldn't go back on her plan now, so she took a deep breath and launched into her prepared words. 'I was thinking just now about all those wonderful sweets you make, and I know that everyone here loves them a lot, but the thought just occurred to me -- you've probably been trying to think of what to make for the person you like best of all, haven't you?'

'Ah!' Two spots of delicate pink appeared high on Maria's cheeks, though the rest of her face went quite pale. 'Well, er, that is.... I hadn't thought that -- '

I knew it, she HAS been worrying about this, and now she's trying to pretend that she hasn't! Katarina did not waste a single second. 'Well, I can tell you right from the start that Prince Geordo doesn't really care for fruit in cakes -- I mean, he almost never eats those plum tarts that everyone goes so crazy over in the winter time, even though they're such a rare treat. Come to think of it, he doesn't really like things that are too sweet, either. But Prince Alan really likes those plum tarts, and -- oh, I remember there was this one time when we both almost ate ourselves sick on these amazing berry cream puffs at Lady Angelica's birthday party when we were just kids! So if you made something that was both sweet and fruity for Prince Alan, I'm sure he'd absolutely love it.'

Maria looked a little startled at the torrent of words. 'That's really very -- '

But Katarina wasn't finished. 'Now, Sophia tells me that her brother really enjoys nuts. Not the sugared kind, just the regular roasted kind, like you'd find on top of those little butter teacakes -- which, if I'm being perfectly honest, I think are just a teeny bit boring? If they had a little bit of a glaze or something on them, they'd be much more enjoyable. But that's his preference, not mine, so something with plenty of nuts in it would really appeal to him.'

'I'm sure that -- ' Maria started to say, but Katarina kept going. She'd made an entire chart to figure this out, after all!

'Come to think of it, it's funny how brothers can be so different! I know Keith never eats those nut-topped teacakes, but then again, he doesn't like nuts all that much. He'd much rather have anything sweet, especially if there's frosting or icing on it.' This was perfectly true; Keith was always so grateful for any thoughtful gesture that Katarina had always made sure that the kitchen staff at home kept frosted cakes around for him to enjoy. 'He always asks for a big frosted cake for his birthday, and you should see how happy he looks when he takes the first bite!'

'Er, Lady Katarina -- ' Maria attempted to interrupt.

Katarina pressed on, frantically trying to get to the end of her prepared thoughts before they all evaporated in a flutter of nerves. She held up four fingers, ticking off the names as she rattled them off. 'So you see, Prince Geordo doesn't like desserts that are too fruity or too sweet. But Prince Alan likes both fruity and sweet things. And Sophia's brother Nichol likes desserts if they have nuts and are not too sweet, whereas my brother Keith would rather have no nuts but would prefer something that is sweet, possibly frosted or iced!' The sweat was starting to bead on her forehead as she gave Maria a wide, toothy grin. 'You see, it's all so simple!'

'...ah, well, yes, simple.' Maria nodded. Though her eyes were worried, she managed a smile in return nonetheless. 'You've explained everything so clearly, Lady Katarina.'

Katarina felt her stomach go a little watery from relief. Thank heavens she wouldn't have to try to go through all of that a second time! 'You're so good at baking, Maria, that I'm sure anything you made would be appreciated. I mean, you could probably make a cake entirely out of vegetables and have it be the most amazing thing anyone ever ate! But now you know exactly what to make for most of our friends, if you ever wanted -- ' The words seemed to stick in her throat, forcing her to gulp a breath. 'If you ever wanted to win their hearts.'

'I... I see.' Maria nodded slowly. 'Thank you, Lady Katarina.'

'So, based on what I've described here, what would your first choice be? Of sweets, I mean,' Katarina added hastily, afraid that she'd said too much.

'I'm...I'm not sure if any of the ones I was thinking of just now would be the right option,' said Maria. However, a contemplative look had come into her eyes. 'But you've given me a lot to think about.'

It was exactly what Katarina had hoped to hear. So why did she feel as if she'd bitten into a cake and it had turned to ashes and dirt in her mouth?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A little more than a week later, Katarina had an answer to her question. Only it wasn't at all the answer she was looking for, but it sort of was?

It was Monday afternoon, after classes were over, and it was time for the student council meeting. For some time, it had been tradition for the student council members (and Katarina, who by virtue of her role as friend, family, or fiancee to the various student council members was more than welcome to stop by whenever she liked) to enjoy a sweet treat that Maria had prepared over the weekend. Sometimes it was little tarts or cakes, or a selection of pastries, and once when everyone had been terribly busy preparing for exams it was a simple bowl of rich, creamy pudding decorated with sliced fruit. But this time, there was a covered cake stand on the table, and everyone was quietly drooling over the thought of what might have been underneath it.

'I hope everyone enjoys this,' Maria said, a little shyly, as her hand hovered over the cake stand. 'It's a new recipe -- well, not a new recipe, because it's actually quite an old one, but I made a few adjustments so that everyone will enjoy it fully. But I did make it with one particular person in mind, so...well, I hope you all like it!'

This is it! Katarina's heart was in her throat. This is where I find out who Maria likes best!

When Maria lifted the lid of the cake stand, Katarina was confused. The cake within seemed to be a plain white frosted cake, but when Maria cut a single slice, the inside gave off a dark, spicy smell, and the pieces that came out were moist and dense. The moment everyone bit into their slices, they all started exclaiming with delight.

'What kind of cake is this, Miss Maria?' Prince Geordo asked. 'It's such a unique flavor!'

'Yeah,' Prince Alan added, with a thoughtful look on his face. 'It tastes like a spice cake, but there's something else in it too, isn't there?'

Maria turned bright red, and mumbled to herself, staring down at the foot. '...its'cart.'

'What was that?' Nichol said, blinking.

'It's...it's a carrot cake.' Maria looked up, darting anxious glances around the room. 'Where I come from, it's not always easy to have enough sugar to make sweet things, so many of the older recipes use shredded carrot to provide sweetness.' She fidgeted awkwardly. 'It also has very finely chopped nuts and dried fruit in it, to provide additional texture and flavour. But I thought that it might be too plain, so I made a simple sugar frosting to go with it. It's not...refined or delicate, not like the nice things I'm sure you all prefer, so please forgive me if it's not to your liking.'

'No, Miss Maria, it's really very good!' Keith smiled at her. 'The frosting goes so well with the spice, it seems perfectly made for it.'

'The cake has just the right amount of sweetness, too,' Geordo said. 'I don't normally enjoy cakes with fruit, but the spices give it a richness that tempers the sugar.'

'Well, it's got all the things I like,' said Alan, shooting a slightly sour look at his brother, before turning back to Maria. 'You don't need to apologise for anything, Miss Maria -- it's really good.'

'I concur,' Nichol said. 'It takes true talent to make something simple into something so special.'

Everyone made noises of agreement, genuinely enthusiastic.

Maria looked so relieved that she almost seemed on the point of tears. 'It's all thanks to Lady Katarina that I made it -- she was the one who gave me the idea to go looking for older recipes, and I figured that it would be the perfect cake for her.'

Katarina was so startled that she nearly dropped her plate. 'Me?'

'It does have vegetables in it,' Nichol murmured, nodding. 'It could only be a cake for Lady Katarina.'

'Forget calling it "carrot cake",' Geordo added, with a laugh, 'it's a perfect Katarina Cake.'

Alan snorted. 'Ha, that's exactly what it is!'

Katarina was, to put it mildly, confused. But...that's not what I wanted it to be! This doesn't tell me anything about who Maria really likes! She said she made with a particular person in mind, but it's got both nuts and fruit, and it's sweet but not too sweet...after all that time I spent coming up with my plan, I'm right back where I started!

And yet, seeing how Maria had lost her worried look, and was smiling that warm, wonderful smile that seemed to make her glow from within, perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing that Katarina's carefully laid plan hadn't succeeded. If she were perfectly honest with herself, she didn't want to find out who Maria liked best. Not just because of her own doom flags, but because it meant that everything would have to be different between them.

Still, it couldn't be helped. For now, she could at least smile, and laugh, and take another big bite of Maria's delicious carrot cake.


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