A remix of lilian_cho
's comment-fic The birth of Canadian cuisine
, written in bessemerprocess
's comment-fic remix post
I had recently had an argument with a poutine-hating friend in which I attempted to defend the deliciousness of the dish, and this comment-fic contains the gist of my rebuttal.
'I never should have left you with that perfidious rosbif
,' France moaned, shielding his eyes with one hand as he struck a pose of dramatic sorrow. 'He has ruined your palate beyond all hope of repair!'
America, far less histrionic for once, settled for wrinkling his nose. 'Dude, that's just gross.'
Canada scowled at both of them. 'Look, we've been over this about a thousand times.' He turned to France, and jabbed at the air with his greasy fork. 'You eat pommes de terre au gratin
. That's potatoes and cheese, and you'll even melt extra cheese on top of it. Not to mention soupe à l'oignon
, which has cheese melted over beef broth that's exactly the same kind I use when I make homemade gravy.' Without a pause, he rounded on America. 'And as for you, brother dear, exactly how
many helpings of mashed potatoes and gravy do you have every Thanksgiving, eh? And I know
I've seen you put cream cheese in mashed potatoes, too.'
'Well, duh, 'cause it makes them extra creamy and awesome.'
'So why exactly is it so disgusting that I'd put cheese curds and
gravy on my potatoes?' France started to open his mouth, but Canada cut in before he could get a word out. 'And don't give me that crap about them being frites
. I don't see you moaning all over Belgium when she dips hers in mayonnaise.'
America gave him a pitying look. 'When Belgium does it, it's cute. When you do it, it's weird.'
Canada grumbled something vaguely blasphemous in French and defiantly shovelled another forkful of poutine into his mouth.Return to the Master List